Categories
Podcasts

How to Use Boundaries to Avoid Burnout

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Burnout is a topic that is becoming so prolific because so many of us are EXPERIENCING IT! Turns out, burnout is a state that is at the end of the road of a long continuum. There are ways we can intervene to reduce the chances of ourselves becoming burned out, but we have to recognize it first.

I’m thrilled to be diving into that very topic today.

Today we’re speaking with Dr. Cassandra LeClair. She is a Communications & Relationships Expert, Motivator, Author, and Podcaster. With a Ph.D. in communications studies, specializing in women’s and gender studies, Cassandra is an expert on communicating feelings, setting boundaries, and improving connections. She enables high-achieving women to gain an understanding of their identity and communication practices to improve their relationships with friends and family, in the workplace, and beyond.

On this episode with Dr. LeClaire, we dive into burnout – how to know when you’re burned out, and what the precursors are. We also dive into the role that boundaries play in burnout. Wow are they important! We also talk about how to figure out what our needs are and communicate them to others. And, finally, we talk about the role that our own behavioral patterns play in our burnout cycle.

I so hope this episode helps you or someone you love. You’re worth it.

Additional Resources:

  1. Curate Your Life & Manage Your Energy
  2. How to Cultivate a Relationship with Yourself
  3. Thoughts, Emotions, and ‘Mom Guilt’
  4. From Dr. LeClaire: 30 Ways to Say ‘No’
Categories
Podcasts

Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty

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Be honest, how often do you find yourself working hard to keep up appearances, be nice, and manage other people’s perceptions of you? Do you do it to the point that you’re not behaving authentically anymore? Is it beginning to create resentment or friction in your relationships? If so, realize that it’s so common, and we’re digging into it on today’s episode.

Many wonder how to stop being a people pleaser and improve their mental health. Setting healthy boundaries is one of the first steps that will help you start to feel good about your approach to others. Accepting you cannot necessarily make people happy could help you reduce the time and energy you invest in doing so. Most report that when they start small and set boundaries it can leave you feeling vastly improved.

Today we’re speaking with Dr. Aziz Gazipura. Dr. Aziz is a clinical psychologist and one of the world’s leading confidence experts. He teaches people how to rapidly learn confidence so they can eliminate social anxiety and self-doubt, master conversations, accelerate in their careers, and create deeply fulfilling relationships.

After struggling with crippling shyness and social anxiety personally for over a decade, Dr. Aziz became determined to find a way to freedom. Through thousands of hours of his own training, counseling, reading, group work, and coaching, he has truly mastered what it takes to transform fear and self-doubt into permanent self-worth and confidence.Dr. Aziz completed his doctoral training at Stanford and Palo Alto Universities and is the founder of the Center For Social Confidence. He is known for his dynamic speaking, humor, disarming vulnerability, and inspiring storytelling.

Learn more about Dr. Aziz at: www.draziz.com

During this episode, we mentioned a number of past episodes of the Building Psych Strength podcast.

Categories
Blogs

An Important Message for You: You Are an Asset

Have you ever stopped to consider for just a moment how important you are?

Think about it. How many people depend on you? For big things and for small things – you are important to the people around you.

You are an asset.

An ‘asset’ is an item of intrinsic value. And, because of that value, it needs to be protected.

You need to be protected.

So, let me ask you, are you protecting yourself?

Here’s what I mean. It can be so easy to push ourselves to continuously show up in life without taking breaks. With very little rest. Without doing the things we need to do in order to help us perform at our peak.

And then, when we falter, we’re so hard on ourselves for not accomplishing enough or doing this as perfectly as we had hoped. 

I’m going to ask you to consider some different ways that you might support yourself with the hope that you’ll think about them in the days and weeks to come. 

 

Boundaries

One of the key ways we protect ourselves is by establishing clear boundaries. Our boundaries are simply general rules about what we do and don’t do, and how we do and don’t do it. 

They’re also one of the biggest missing pieces I see people over-look in terms of protecting themselves.

Have you stopped to think about how you’d like your key relationships to look and feel? Your relationship with your spouse, your kids, your parents, your boss, your team. How do you want them to function?

Who has access to you? When? How much? What topics are you ok with discussing…and not?

These questions, and more, are good ones to consider as you intentionally think about how you want your most important relationships to function.

Once you make some decisions, begin to communicate them with those people. Reinforce the way you want the relationship to go, and why. 

I think you’ll be amazed at how different life feels when you have a set of good boundaries in place that help you avoid some of the resentful feelings that can crop up when people have access to us that oversteps what we would prefer.

Sleep and Rest

This one may seem obvious, but how much are you sleeping, and how much are you resting?

They’re different things, you know?

Sleeping is the obvious. We’ve written a number of posts in the past highlighting the importance of sleep in our emotional regulation, decision-making, the sentiment and nature of our thoughts, and how we experience our day. Sleep is a game-changer. Fight hard to get enough of it.

Rest is a separate issue. Human beings evolved to work in sprints. To work hard for a period of time…and then to rest. 

I’ll be the first person to raise my hand and say I’m guilty of not taking enough breaks during the day. I rarely build in rest time on my calendar, and it’s to my detriment. It’s to your detriment as well.

You do not need to ‘earn’ rest time on your calendar. Resting does not need to generate a measurable ROI (return on investment) to be beneficial.

You need both sleep and rest to be at your best. 

Self-Care

Self-care is something I am incredibly passionate about. And, I don’t mean bubble baths and manicures. 

Rather, I view self-care as the curated set of activities that support you and allow you to show up as the type of person you most want to be.

What do you look like when you’re at your best?

What qualities do you exhibit?

What self-care activities do you need to bake into your schedule to make it more likely you’ll be able to show up with those qualities? 

We did an entire podcast episode on something we call the ‘Self-Care Pyramid‘ to help people see just how robust and helpful a true self-care routine can be. I’d invite you to check it out if you’re interested.

I’d also invite you to check out our program Self-Care [by Design]. We created this mini-course because we saw that so many people, so many ASSETS, didn’t have the self-care routine to support them in showing up the way they want to show up in their lives. 

Bottom line, if you take nothing away from this post, know this:

You are an asset.

 
“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
― Lucille Ball
Categories
Podcasts

Using Emotional Intelligence to Set Compassionate Boundaries 

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We all know that we need to set boundaries in our lives in order to protect our own time and energy, but wow can it be hard to do! Sometimes we feel selfish for cutting other people off and not allowing them the time, energy, and resources we know we just can’t provide.  

However, as tough as it can be to set boundaries, it’s absolutely necessary. 

In this episode of the podcast, we’re speaking with Carley Hauck. Carley is a learning architect, leadership development consultant, author, speaker, and serves as adjunct faculty at Stanford University and UC Berkeley Haas School of Business teaching on the subject of leadership and business as a platform for positive change in the world. 

In this episode, Carley talks about: 

  • The power of naming our emotions and how it can help us move through unpleasant emotions. “Name it to tame it” 
  • Emotional intelligence & the fact that there are no unacceptable emotions 
  • What compassionate boundaries are and how to set them 
  • The role anger plays in setting a boundary 

Finally, Carley gives a step-by-step way to approach setting compassionate boundaries to begin using them as a way to protect yourself, particularly in times that are as volatile and ever-changing as our current situation. 

The bottom line, you are an asset to everyone in your life. And because of that, you need and deserve some protection. Setting intentional, compassionate boundaries is one key way to do just that. 

Take part in Carley’s 2-part free workshop at https://carleyhauck.com/consciousleadershipworkshop/  

www.leadfromlight.com 

When we encounter relationships, with partners, friends, and family as well as co-workers it’s hard to be assertive without offending. Carley helps set healthy boundaries, brings balance, copes with toxic people and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners at work and at home. His book on boundaries goes beyond the common power struggles (anxiety, depression, burnout) and successfully express yourself in order to achieve work/life balance. His methods help us set boundaries, find peace, and grow as people, co-workers and friends.