Have you ever felt stuck? Torn as to what to do and which way to go in life?
Maybe you feel that way about some aspect of everyday life right now. If that’s the case, this post is for you. Even if it’s not the case, read on, because that stuck/torn feeling is one we encounter over and over again in life.
I want to give you one simple tool, in the form of a question, that you can use to help you decide what to do next.
Recently, we got some bad news about something we’ve been working really hard on inside the Peak Mind Center. Something we’ve been working toward was threatening to fall through and not happen at all, and the news hit me HARD.
We had been working on it for WEEKS. We were thrilled at the opportunity. We were absolutely in LOVE with what we had created and wanted to send it out into the world.
And we were at risk of it all falling through.
I’ll be honest, I instantly began to over-react, and I let my mind take over. I was feeling all sorts of thoughts and feelings and I began asking myself whether it all was worth it. I began doubting whether we’d ever reach the lofty goals we’ve set for ourselves. I began to convince myself that I was wasting my time.
Feeling Stuck in Life?
Now, here’s the thing. Ashley and I frequently tell you guys that we use the exact same tools and techniques that we teach in order to build psychological strength and resilience for ourselves.
We’re not exaggerating.
It’s times like the one I just described that I’ve learned to lean back on the techniques we teach in order to help me regain balance, focus on the problem, and decide what to do.
Here’s what I did.
Finding the Path Forward
The first small step I took was to become an observer of my mind. We give a lot of tools and techniques for doing this inside our Ascend program.
I did this by intentionally noticing the types of negative thoughts I was having and labeling them accordingly: Worry, Catastrophizing, Predicting the Future, Black and White Thinking.
By observing my thoughts instead of letting myself get caught up in them, I was able to put myself back in a frame of mind where I could think more clearly.
Then, I asked myself this question:
Let’s pretend you’re right. You’re 80 years old, at the end of your life, and you guys didn’t reach your lofty goals, You spent a good chunk of your life working on something that didn’t turn out the way you expected. So, long term: Will you regret it?
Will you regret spending your time teaching people about their minds, even if you don’t reach as many people as you wanted to reach?
Will you regret showing people how to use life design to make meaningful improvements in their lives, even if never becomes a mainstream practice in our society?
Will you regret focusing your time and energy on something that used your strengths and was aligned with your purpose and values?
The answer came immediately: No. Big time no.
And suddenly, I knew the path forward.
What about you? Think about the thing(s) you’re grappling with in your life. Ask yourself that question.
At the end of your life, will you regret spending your time in that way?
Sometimes, the answer will be yes. In that case, I’d encourage you to check out the Ascend program, specifically Module 3 that shows you how to use Life Design to identify and make changes in your life. But we need to stop feeling guilty about missing our goals so long as we don’t regret the paths we’ve chosen.
Sometimes the answer will be no. And you stay the course.
A meaningful activity is so much more than one that allows you to achieve your external goals.
Rather, a truly meaningful activity is one that aligns to your values. Uses your strengths. Puts you in a position to be your best self more often than not. When you align your values with your actions, physical and emotional stress recedes.
The work I do for Peak Mind is some of the most meaningful work I’ve ever done. It’s some of the most important time I spend in my life.
I sincerely hope that you have an activity like that in your own life, or that you find one. It is EVERYTHING.
At the end of my life, I am certain that I’ll look back on the work we did with Peak Mind and be proud that this was how I spent so much of my time. I’m so proud to be serving you to improve your mental health.